The Never Ending Ask

Now more than ever, even the smallest amounts help, your tax-deductible donation will ensure that you will get email from now until eternity. Both personally and on behalf of the entire organization, I thank you for reading and then deleting our message without making a donation.

My Non-profit friends,

Tis’ the season of the never ending ask. I know, you got to pay the bills. I know that the economy has hurt you.

The reality of the situation is you are better off not showering your limited donor pool with a million emails (and in some cases a hard copy letter) asking for money. Most people make their donations at the end of the year to help out with taxes and the like. But that doesn’t mean most of us don’t have a pretty good idea where we want to make our donations.

I received a message the day after I made a not huge but still not small donation to one particular organization asking me for money. I also got two copies of the exact same ask from another org sent from different people; they used a different email html frame so we wouldn’t notice…I noticed.

To paraphrase the Oscar award winning song:

You know it is hard out here for a non-profit.
When it tryin to get this money for the rent.
For the computers and the electric bill
Because you will have a whole lot of board members talkin about downsizing
Will have a whole lot of board members talkin downsizing…

There is no question that non-profits, especially larger ones with limited relevance in our current world, had a really bad year. With the Dow nose diving, particular individuals running particular “investment vehicles” that turned out not to be anything at all and corporations closing up their charitable checkbooks, it was far from a banner year.

But please stop with all the emails. Pay attention to who is sending you money especially if you say any amount will help, prove it and stop sending further solicitations to those who have supported the cause. Also don’t make the “we are understaffed and over worked” excuse. I know how hard you work. I also know that shot gun blast emails are lazy and can be better targeted with limited work.

I hope you do meet your fundraising goals as well as your organizational ones.

A happy New Year to you all,

-thedcc

Where naughty is nice

I'm just a Jew, a lonely Jew, on Christmas...

But on Christmas eve I will be enjoying some Heebonism! Last year's party was great (see me at 1:56) and I hope this year's will be a little less great.



Come on down:

Heebonism
Fontana’s
105 Eldridge Street
New York, NY 10002
8 p.m. to 3 a.m.

The Best Gift of All

My friend Saint Tigerlily paid me a very big compliment today: She called me the only true male feminist she knows. While I am sure she knows quite a few true males, ones of the feministic variety are truly hard to come by these days.

But there are those who try. And especially in this season of giving and joy, it would make sense that people want to look out for one another. We want to show that we care, that men can be in touch with both their feminine side and still take care of their responsibilities. The good folks at CBS Cares wanted to prove that there are just a few men out there who understand, who get it.



Yup that is right; men know when it is best for “their women” to get lady tests done.

Here are the main reasons I was paid this compliment; in our conversation about this unreal video I brought these points:

1. If a woman delivered this message, saying something to the effect of “give yourself a gift of good health this Chanukah and schedule your lady test” it would have been fine and a very smart PSA.
2. The fact that a man is using the possessive —“your woman” — to describe your wife, girlfriend or partner (whatever you may call that person in your life) is as if he was saying: “At this time of year it is good to check your anti-freeze, your smoke detector batteries and your woman’s good parts, because CBS Cares.”
3. DUDE THE CREAM CHEESE REFERENCE IS JUST NOT COOL.

Come on folks! Aren’t we past this kind of pejorative sexist crap? I suppose the entire point is to get men to the point that they would be comfortable speaking to “their women” about female health issues such as cervical cancer. But this isn’t the way to go about it.

Women should have control of their bodies. Men should not tell women what to do with their bodies. (Yeah I am I am talking about that too but we are going to stick to busting on the YouTube thing and leave abortion for another day.)

In the end I suppose more people are talking about cervical cancer, but they aren’t having bagels with shmear anytime soon.

(H/T Jewschool)

Religiosity of Equality

This letter was sent to Senator Diaz’s office yesterday on behalf of the The Reform Jewish Voice (RJV) of New York State. I wrote it as a member of the Steering Committee and boy oh boy was I miffed about Senator Diaz's comment.

Dear Senator Diaz,

You were quoted in the New York Times saying that, “Not only the evangelicals, not only the Jews, not only the Muslims, not only the Catholics, but also the people oppose it.” “It” of course is marriage equality.

Now I cannot speak for all evangelicals, Muslims, Catholics, Jews or any other group you would like to unfairly type-cast as monolithic regressive ideologues. However, I can speak for a significant population of the Jewish community of this state. The Reform Jewish Movement, the largest synagogue movement in North America, has a long history of supporting civil marriage equality and I am offended by your statement.

I am a proud, practicing and religious Reform Jew. I was taught and believe that every human being was created b’tzelem Elohim, in the image of God. This means that all of us, as perfect or flawed as we may be, are entitled to respect and equality. Let this be in the embrace of our community or the eyes of the law.

But even as our tradition embraces same-sex couples as full members of our religious community, we are cognizant that other faith traditions hold differing views on this issue. That is why it is essential that civil marriage laws are not rooted in theology, but in the principle of equal rights. Today, you allowed your generalizations of many faith traditions to rationalize your actions.

Your vote against and vocal opposition of equal rights and protections for thousands of New Yorkers is shameful. But what is worse, is that you assumed the voice of millions of religious people who vehemently disagree with your position.

Senator Diaz, as one religious person to another, please do not speak for me on the religiosity of equality, on the Jewish tradition’s idea of marriage or on how I build a family according to my faith.


Respectfully,

thedcc

Tulsa for Turkey

There was a time in my life that I believed that Thanksgiving was not a holiday but rather a place where one went, ate too much and pretended to play football like the pros (until someone got hurt). This was a great time filled with family memories, inside jokes and lots of food. And then turkey sandwiches for a snack after football.

But this rosy picture of familial harmony has long since disappeared and Thanksgiving is no longer that place of over eating, laughs and all-but-assured back injury. But over the past three years Thanksgiving has once again become a place for me and that place is Tulsa.

Getting married comes with lots of bonuses, like sharing the holiday visiting schedule. In our arrangement, my family is visited during Passover and my lovely wife’s family is visited on Thanksgiving. This set up has worked for the past few years and looks like it will hold true for many more to come.

While we don’t play football, nor do I know all of inside jokes, for the most part the overeating is a constant.

In previous trips to Tulsa I went to a Monster Truck Rally and got married. But this time the only reason to be in the fine state of Oklahoma was for Turkey, and celebrating our freedom and the historic oppression of Native Americans (which is pretty funny considering the location).

But in all seriousness, this day of copious consumption is not complete without pie. Many people will disagree with me on this point, saying that turkey is the most important or perhaps stuffing or even the sweet potatoes with marshmallows (which is often referred to as pie but not the kind I am talking about here).

Yet they are wrong.

Thanksgiving is always in need of pie. See even Saint Tigerlilly agrees with me. Pie is key.

We meet up with one of the seven of you who read this thing because his family also lives in Tulsa. After attempting to sit and talk at three different bars and the one we found forced us our through audio based torture, we headed over to what can only be described as a Midwestern Mecca of pie. For those of you familiar with Davis, it was Tulsa’s take on Baker’s Square (In fact it is owned by American Blue Ribbon Holdings which also owns Baker’s Square.) The Village Inn on Harvard in “midtown” Tulsa served me my first pie of this Thanksgiving season.

It was not even close to traditional but this cacophony of sugar, chocolate and peanut butter spoke to my soul and fulfilled my need for crusty goodness. I could eat another piece of that Peanut Butter Cup Pie right this second if only there was a place like the Village Inn here in New York City, but alas I will have to wait until next year.

I missed out on the pecan pie until Saturday night while doing some leftover eating and college football watching. This pie from some local bakery was so damn good. The custard was perfect, extremely sweet but not to the point it hurts your teeth and the crust was flaky but still moist. The pecans were also good but really we know this pie is all about the goop of nutty custard and that was stellar.

See while my pie consumption was not over the top, the rest of my holiday eating was up to par with American standards. I ate so much on Thanksgiving that I had to walk around the block three times. Thus I was unable to enjoy the desserts on that night, but I made up for it. The trip to the Village Inn accompanied by a slice of pecan pie fulfilled my holiday obligation of confectionary thanks giving.

I am going to make a pie this weekend in honor of the wonderful pies I had when I went to that place called Thanksgiving. Until then my pie eating friends, I wish you a happy Thanksgiving.

First Published on Jewcy: DC Catholics Screw Poor Because of Gay Marriage

First Published on Jewcy

"The Catholic Archdiocese of Washington said Wednesday that it will be unable to continue the social service programs it runs for the District if the city doesn't change a proposed same-sex marriage law, a threat that could affect tens of thousands of people the church helps with adoption, homelessness and health care." - The Washington Post

The Catholic Church does not want to be forced to give benefits to gay people, so they are offering an ultimatum: See the world our way, or else we will abandon our city contracts and the most vulnerable members of society.

I am not Catholic, poor, in need of adoption or health care. I don't live in D.C.; I am straight and married. But I am so disappointed in the Archdiocese, sorry for the millions of people who rely on their services and furious on behalf City Council officials who are now forced to choose whether to support equality or support those in need.

This is anti-religious and an affront to people of conscience everywhere.

As a Reform Jew committed to the concept that all people are created B'tzelem Elohim, in the image of God, I do not agree with the Church's position on marriage equality but I understand it. But this ultimatum, this repulsive rejection of its mission of serving those most in need is something I cannot understand or ever respect. I cannot believe the Archdioceses would actually ignore its chosen obligation to serve the poor in favor of hate. The Catholic Church's power should not be leveraged in this way; it is almost Roman in approach.

I just don't understand why you can't be completely against civil marriage equality and maintain city contracts to serve the poor. It is not like they don't serve LGBT members of the community already. Of the thousands of people who work for the Archdioceses there are bound to be a few gay or lesbian social workers, a bisexual or transgender cook in a soup kitchen. It isn't impossible to believe a gay homeless man sleeps in a Catholic shelter when the temperatures drop.

People of conscience must speak up against this horrific abuse of power. It is shameful that religious people who believe one way will allow their beliefs to deny vulnerable children, sick families and mentally ill individuals the services that are also integral aspects of their religious belief system.

I, for one, am totally revolted by this power play.

Dr. Ruth Sits with Sean Thibault

Priceless:


So my friend Sean wins the line of the year award which can be heard in this video:

"Jewish sex is my preference over non-Jewish sex."

Detention isn’t good enough?

After growing up a bit and learning that while fun it is a waste of food (and there are starving children around the world and in our backyard) I have come to see a food fight as a bad thing. But it isn’t a criminal act.

Except on the South Side of Chicago.

The New York Times reported that after an epic food fight that would have gone down in the bff notes of yearbooks around Calumet middle-school as “the food fight of 2009” resulted in 25 arrests of children between the ages of 11 to 15.

I suggest reading the article. Done? Great welcome back.

Now I thought the arrests were because the apples were really hard and people were getting hurt, possibly an orange had exploded and got into the eyes of another student or staff member. Nope. This was because the school police and teachers could not get it under control and called for back-up.

I am not from Chicago, nor do I live there but I can’t imagine that the kids in the Windy City are all that different from students in other big cities. The teachers couldn’t stop a food fight so they called back-up. Then the campus police (those are real cops) couldn’t stop it so they called more cops…unreal.

School, while no place for violence, is a place of learning and safe experimentation. What the hell are these kids going to learn about authority if they are arrested for a food fight? Are we going send a kid to the pokey for drawing on his desk or for not keeping the locker room clean? This is just such an unbearable over reaction that will only serve to screw up the kids. We had our fair share of suspensions and expulsions at my middle-school but I believe the only arrest was for a gang banger who was collared for possession with intent. (He had intent too.)

Officials at this school need to take responsibility and stand before that judge and respectfully ask for the charges to be dismissed. This all took place at one of those highly regarded Charter School too, so much for a better education via diverting state money to private institutions.

Kids will do what they can get away with. Adults are supposed to show restraint, not abuse their power and set a meaningful example. Great job Calumet middle-school setting the bar so high.

The Award for Tongue in Cheek Web Ads Goes To...

Quark Expeditions!

Small Town Charm

After more than five years of active resistance I raise my white flag and say out loud (or at least online) that I like country music. Rascal Flats, Little Big Town, Keith Urban, Josh Gracin, Sugarland, Lady Antebellum and the rest of those gracing the screen on GMC and CMT. It is catchy, it is relaxing and it is fun to sing along with the stars of Nashville. It is also so unbelievably condescending to my and a majority of Americans’ life-style.

My favorite song is “Boondocks” by Little Big Town. As you can imagine, the song glorifies the benefits of growing up in a small town. I really love this song. I challenge anyone to not want to sing along after hearing it a few times. But the glorification of the “simple” life in small town America is fantasy.

Most people in this country live either in cities or suburbs. And for good reason: a vast majority of the wealth, culture, medical services, transportation and country music is found in and around these population centers.

Granted New York City isn’t for everyone but the glorification of New York via song always has the “it is nasty but it is home to me” mentality that is so clearly missing from the Boondocks and other “small town is better” country songs.

A few weeks back 30 Rock traveled south to find “real American” comics. But to Jack Donaghy’s eternal dismay, small town simple folk suck just as much as big city slickers. Ah the truth through popular culture.

But more than the primetime parable from NBC’s critically acclaimed and viewed only by New Yorkers show, small towns have nothing to offer besides being the subject of country songs and escape plans in high school movie classics.

Nothing is instilled by a small town. There is nothing in the water in these places (well sometimes there is mercury).

The Conservative Revolution that has taken place in our society over the past 25 years has created a false sense of safety that “traditional small town values” complete with 1950s style gender roles, an omnipotent Church and a small, feeble government will protect the true American way of life.

Wow is that stupid.

What makes America strong is the commitment to progress. Going backward -- which is what these small town activists want -- does nothing to help support the American Dream. American character is instilled by caring families, dedicated teachers, strong relationships with friends and in many cases meaningful religious experiences.

These things aren’t found only in small town America. These experiences are fostered by individuals and communities dedicated to the preservation of progress and betterment. The American Dream is no longer about white picket fences but making the world a better place for our children so they in turn can do the same for their kids.

So really this isn’t an indictment of country music, just the fantasies some of its most noted artists continue to propagate. Yet some of the other themes present in the best country music also support the above described American character building exercise.

Sugarland’s “Baby Girl” kind of hits it perfectly (and it is almost as catchy as “Boondocks”). Singing to her mom and dad, Jennifer Nettles belts out:

Whaddya know, we made our dreams come true.
And there are fancy cars and diamond rings,
But you know that they don't mean a thing.
They all add up to nothin' compared to you.
Well, remember me in ribbons an' curls.
I still love you more than anything in the world...
Love,
Your baby girl.

Her parents’ support and love helped her become a star. Not the small town or the city life or anything else. It was dedicated parents who can live in New York, Chicago, Los Angeles, Marlin, TX, Adams, TN or Bayboro, NC. The support of her family, friends and teachers is what made her great (oh and a good singing voice…).

Living with Intention Takes more than 140 Characters

I like to use Twitter. I tweet about what is going in my life, a funny joke, some political ranting and even about dumplings. But Twitter often is a bit over whelming and has some serious limitations. Outside of the brevity of the commentary, tweeting often leaves me feeling somewhat removed from what it is that I am either tweeting about or reading about via Twitter. It creates a disconnect between what is actually happening and figuring out how to truncate the story into short 140 character descriptions.

Recently I have been reading and hearing more about trying to live intentionally. Rabbi Josh Strom of New York discussed the difficulty of living “in the right now” during his Yom Kippur sermon:

It was a blistering hot afternoon in Manchester, Tennessee, the final day of the 8th annual Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival. The What Stage … featured Grammy-winning soul and R&B artist Erykah Badu….Towards the end of her set, she spoke to the tens of thousands gathered on that Tennessee farmland. She looked out at the crowd and said, “Let’s just be here right now. No thinking about the past, no thinking bout the future. Just here. Just now.” And she concluded with the words, “I’m so glad to be with you, right here, right now.”

And I thought, “Yes!” I think I might’ve even shouted out something to the extent of, “That’s what I’m talking about!” This was something I’d been thinking about for quite a while. Over time, it had become sort of an unofficial thesis or mantra, if you will, something I knew I wanted to speak about for these High Holy Days. And here, standing in the overpowering sun of rural Tennessee, I shared a moment with Erykah Badu. Clearly, we were on the same wavelength.

I was so pumped, so fired up by this connection, this shared passion for trying earnestly to be here and now, that what did I do? I took out my Blackberry and wrote a little memo to myself, quoting Erykah so that I wouldn’t forget it. So moved, so jazzed up was I about being nowhere but in the moment, that I knocked myself right out of it with my electronic leash.

Yeah we all do it. I even live-tweeted the Dumpling Festival eating contest last weekend. It was a blast and I feel like nothing was lost on those who didn’t make it down to the festival but read about it via Twitter. The event, while supporting an important and complicated cause, was light in content. Shoving dumplings in one’s mouth really doesn’t necessitate in depth commentary.

This week JStreet is hosting its first national conference in Washington, D.C. This gathering of advocates and activists is a real accomplishment of the nascent pro-Israel, pro-Peace org and should be well documented by the press and those in attendence. However in the first few hours of this event, my Twitter feed and many of the blogs I read regularly were inundated with tweets and posts about every little detail of what was happening.

I asked, via Twitter of course, if anyone was actually attending the event to attend the event or were they only there to tweet about it. In this case, you really need that in depth commentary. You need to think about your answers and react carefully. I played into the problem and for that I apologize. But live-tweeting this event pulls you away from the seminar. It must make it harder to pay attention to the people speaking and nearly impossible to learn from them.

In an article in TechCrunch, Paul Carr wrote about a similar situation at a recent exclusive Weezer concert, sponsored by MySpace. He remarked that the "kids" and the MySpace invited dignitaries all were laden with smart phones, ready to document the event live and in real time. Here are the most important aspects of his piece:

…What were we all doing? Filming and tweeting and checking in rather than just putting our phones away and enjoying the gig. Why does the world need two thousand photos of the same band on the same stage, all taken from a slightly different angle? That kind of 360 degree imagery might have been useful on the day Kennedy was shot – not least because it would have kept Oliver Stone quiet – but for a Weezer gig? And what’s the point of checking in on Foursquare at a ticketed event that no one else can get into. You might as well tweet “I’m a dick” and be done with it.

And yet this real-time mentality – pictures/tweets or it didn’t happen – continues to seep into every aspect of our lives, both personally and professionally. Whereas once we might attend a conference to watch the speakers and perhaps learn something, today our priority is to live blog it – to ensure our followers know we’re on the inside; first with whatever news might be broken. And it’s not just journalists doing the live-blogging, but anyone with a laptop and a wifi connection.

So what happens when we tweet to prove existence? Will speakers be reduced to carefully crafting easily tweeted statement and killer sound bites? Will bands cut jam sessions so to provide the right length for direct upload to YouTube? I highly doubt Lincoln’s debates with Douglas could have been cut down to 140 character segments.

The existential tweeter is in for some troubled waters. If you tweet to prove it happened, then what is happening is diminished and therefore you are diminished. A vicious cycle really.

My mom, someone I respect deeply as an intellectual and communications expert, regularly says “ACH these people have too much time on their hands” when discussing a blogger or tweeter. In many cases I believe she is right. But perhaps the segmentation of time into 140 character tweets and witty blog posts (such as this one) actually cuts our time making it much shorter and less meaningful. (but not this blog post…please keep reading my blog.)

The real-time, right-now mentality makes it very hard to live intentionally. This isn’t anything revolutionary, but it struck me as strange today that so many advocates for Israel and peace when presented with such a rare opportunity to be taken seriously in a large group with real power in Washington, chose to tweet about it as opposed to action in the moment. The real power isn’t in the tweet, but in the people and the voice.

Social networking is great for great distances, but living intentionally is paramount to a political struggle, a great concert or even learning something from a blog post about living in the moment.

Dumplings Fight Hunger

On October 24, 2009 a group of men and women gathered on the Lower East Side of Manhattan to join together in battle. With over a thousand people in attendance in the Sarah D Roosevelt Park, we the men and women of the fight gathered to eat way too many delicious Chef One Whole Wheat Organic Chicken Dumplings.

I clearly joined this battle for social justice; aiming to eradicate the horrific hunger problem in our wonderful city. It is shameful that millions of people are hungry or at risk of hunger in the richest city in the richest country in the world. 1 in 5 children in this city suffer from hunger related issues on a daily basis. It is wrong and I knew I could do something about it.

So I ate some dumplings and so did about 75 more of my newest friends.

The New York City Food Bank helped organize the first ever Dumpling Festival in New York City. With generous sponsorship from Chef One, the festival and eating contest raised many thousands of dollars and a ton of awareness about the issues surrounding hunger in the city.

I arrived at our battle station at 11:45 am to register and sit quietly. I met some of the most seasoned professional eaters in the business and got some tips on how to take down as many of those little meat packets as possible in our two minute time period. I listened. We laughed. Big Will the Champ (pictured right), a Tweep friend of mine, gave me some pointers about how to be a bad ass and also eat lots of food quickly.

And then it got serious. After a mandatory reading of the wavier we all signed by the PR folks at Chef One and an optional bathroom trip (also facilitated by the PR folks at Chef One; they think of everything) we were getting ready to go into the heat of struggle.

I was lucky enough to be in the first wave of men to hit the stage. But before I went up I spoke briefly with a Food Bank staffer regarding his feelings about an eating contest to benefit hunger awareness. He said, all the things you would expect but the fact of the matter was, he explained, that Chef One’s parent company TMI donates more than two tons of food a year to the Food Bank as well as monetary donations. This is significant cash and their food is good, some of it very healthy and nutritious. So in the end everyone wins.

As I marched onto the stage a woman from Florida (the MC) walked down the line to introduce the warriors against hunger. I was number six and my supporters numbered three (My lovely wife, Rachel R and Sapana S) until I said something clever and two people in the back started cheering for me as well. I liked them, outside of the fact he was wearing a Yankees hat; all is forgiven on dumpling day.

At the sound of the air horn, we started eating. Pro-Eater "Furious" Pete Czerwinski (he is Canadian) eating next to me had finished an entire bowl of 20 before I had polished off five. Those suckers turned into cement in the mouth. That was when I slowed down just bit, to enjoy these very tasty little bites of dumpling goodness. Took a sip of water and went back to it.

In the end I put down 18 bad boys. I believe I came in fourth in my heat and definitely did better than the worst. The other guy next to me, almost hurled and got a little dumpling on my arm but that wasn’t even close to as bad as the Canadian who dumped two bottles of water on his dumplings so to better shovel more into his mouth. He ate 52 of them in two minutes to come in second over all and the now four time champ "Gentleman"Joe Manchetti put down 53 (also pictured right) to win again. A first timer in the women’s division put down 40 to win it for the females.

All in all it was one of those crazy days on the battlefield of New York. I don’t believe I will be entering another eating comp anytime soon but I will continue to help the Food Bank of New York and our other local hunger fighting organizations in our battle to bring tasty and delicious food to those who need it in our city.

THIS JUST IN: dumpling contest will be held on Rain or Shine

I just got the final instructions from the Dumpling Eating Contest that will benifit the New York City Food Bank.

See you tomorrow!

Dear Contestant,

Congratulations to be one of the final contestants for the 6th Annual Chef One Dumpling Eating Contest, please don’t forget to bring the confirmation letter along with a valid picture ID on the day of the contest, and be at our Contestant Booth no later than 12:00PM this Saturday.

Time: 11 AM – 3:00 PM, 10/24/2009 (Saturday) at the NYC Dumpling Festival

Location: Sara D. Roosevelt Park, Downtown Manhattan, NYC (Between E Houston
Street. & Chrystie Street., right across Whole Foods Bowery store)

Direction: Take F or V train to 2 Ave, exit near E Houston Street (As it is very difficult to find parking in the event area, public transportation will be recommended)

Contact Info: In case you can’t locate our venue on the day, please contact Jenny at 1-800-Dumpling (editor's note: not really but still fun)

Please also be informed that Tang’s Natural Whole Wheat Chicken Dumpling will be used for the contest. Tang’s Natural product is now available at Whole Foods in case you would like to practice at home.

Please also be reminded that there is no refund for the registration if you fail to show up or violate the contest rules and regulation on the contest.

Should you have any questions, please kindly let me know.

Jenny

Oh yeah it is on!

Fighting hunger by eating a lot, fast

There are a plethora of ways to fight hunger in our society. You can volunteer at your local soup kitchen. You can serve a hot lunch to isolated seniors like I did last weekend with Project ORE. You can advocate for smarter allocations of funds to food stamp and school lunch programs. You can donate food stuffs or money to a neighborhood food bank.

Or you can eat as many dumplings as you can put into your mouth in two minutes.

This Saturday I will take part in the 6th Annual Chef One Dumpling Eating Contest. This event will benefit the New York City Food Bank. Last year the three time champ Joe Menchetti put down 66 dumplings taking first place, $1000 prize money and a year’s worth of bragging rights. That is 1.81818 dumplings per second in case you were wondering. (For those of you who don’t click on links, this link goes to an ESPN radio station…yeah eating is so a sport)

But Joe, you better watch your back. This may be my first competitive eating event and I might not be able to stuff half as many dumplings in my mouth at a time as you can, but boy oh boy do I hate the fact that millions of people —-and one in five children (!!!)—- in the richest city in the richest country in the world go hungry. So you better believe I am coming after you!

In the very unlikely event that I place in this contest I promise to give a significant portion of my winnings to the New York City Food Bank and I will use the rest to pay for a personal trainer.

So, if you are in New York City this weekend and are looking for something to do, come cheer me on at the festival. I will be hopefully wearing a dumpling contest shirt but if not I will wear a “The dcc Fights Hunger by Eating Dumplings” shirt, possibly a hat too. (Replicas will be made available by order only)

The sixth annual dumpling contest will take place this Saturday, Oct. 24 during the first-ever New York City Dumpling Festival, presented by Chef One.

Saturday, Oct. 24 1 p.m.
Sara D. Roosevelt Park
E. Houston Street, New York, NY (between Chrystie and Forsyth)

Spoofing the First Amendment

Generally, I have a good idea of how to make fun of a situation in which most people are offended. But I must say I am stumped.

Last week the JTA reported that The Pamphlette, a student run humor magazine at Reed College in Oregon had to apologize after this headline: “LC students kill Jewish people.” The article started:

"In what is being called a 'tragic, but all too predictable' event, the staff of The Leaphlette, a student humor publication at Lewis & Clark College, have been accused of rounding up and gassing all of the Jews on their Portland, OR, campus."

Yeah so this is strange right?

The story behind it was about an overreaction to another somewhat less offensive satirical take on Anne Frank done by the publication that some folks at Lewis & Clark’s above mentioned The Leaphlette enabled “real genocide.”

While not that funny, it does prove a very good point…college students are idealistic numb-sculls who live in a world where nothing they do actually matters until it interferes with donorsthe First Amendment is powerful and must be respected. It also proves that when you are fighting those who satirize for a line on their resumea living you must be prepared to be hit back.

The only funny thing here is that the president of the Reed College didn’t stand up for his students’ right to publish very stupid, ill-informed and inflammatory statements. This wasn’t the student paper, it was a humor rag. Students, faculty and staff didn’t think this really happened. Nor do they think it should happen. Satire is intended to make you think.

Being offended is part of the deal of the First Amendment.

While this is in extremely poor taste, there is nothing wrong with this situation.