Great. Now What.

Yeah. This happened:

“At a certain point,” Mr. Obama said in an interview in the Cabinet Room at the White House with ABC’s Robin Roberts, “I’ve just concluded that for me personally, it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that I think same-sex couples should be able to get married.”

Great news, and the two sure things that come from this news is that every LGBT and Marriage Equality group (and the bigots on the other side) will make money off of the news and that LGBT rights will be a major presidential campaign issue.  Other than that, nothing has changed.

Words are powerful, especially when they come from the leader of the free world. But as of right now they are just words.

If anything, this great news makes for more work.  So get to work, you say.  I say, this isn't a letter writing campaign or liking something on Facebook, this is lots of work.

As we know, it is an election year and there is no chance that Congress will do anything about this.  There is no chance a Democrat in a tight race will come out in favor and there is so no chance a Republican anywhere outside of the Castro, West Hollywood, or Chelsea is supporting these words.

So yeah, this is good but nothing will happen. Now we need to get a Democrat majority in the House and a filibusterer proof majority in Senate and then maybe we can celebrate. So that is the work.  Now we got to do it. Like I said, more work.  And it isn't like young people vote and we can't count on the pissed off left like the Republicans can count on the pissed of fright.

Celebrate today.  Celebrate something that should have been done years ago.  Tomorrow, it is time to get to work.

Equality

So we won. That was cool. I have never been so happy to have been wrong. On Friday evening (well really in the middle of the night) the New York State Senate passed the Marriage Equality Act and it was great!

Working with members of the Cuomo Administration, Empire State Pride Agenda and HRC as well as religious groups on this issue has been wonderful. I am extremely proud to have taken a small part in this project. It is clear, that without the leadership of Governor Cuomo, this would not have happened.

I was very critical of the Governor and said so in meetings with some of his senior staff. For much of the session he was mute on progressive social issues focusing much of his attention on the business community, and that wasn't why I voted for him. I stand by my critical statements but I must say I am impressed with the political maneuvering and in the end real leadership from his office on this issue.

So congratulations all and on to the next fight!

New York, concrete jungle where dreams are made

Also has rural farm communities and former industrial strong-holds where they die.

If you have been following my blog (thanks Mom!) you will know that over the past few years I have been working on the issue of Marriage Equality in the Empire State. For those of you not paying much attention and for some reason choose to get your news here (dude, get out more) here is the update:

1. Governor Coumo has promised to take on this issue as the most important social issue in his legislative agenda.

2. There is now a coalition being supported by the Governor's office that includes all the big LGBT players; they are putting on great ads and lobbying hard. We were all excited for a while.

3. The Conservative Party has come out to say that any Republican who votes for Marriage Equality will not receive their support in the upcoming elections.

4. Senator Golden of Brooklyn (Mayor Bloomberg's "besty" in the Senate) introduced a bill that would invalidate all same-sex marriages from other municipalities in the State of New York. (Read: Conservative Party litmus test.)

5. We have no reason to believe any votes will change in the State Senate before the end of this session. We are no longer excited.

I am bummed. I was pretty sure we were going to get it this time around. When the State passed a budget on time for the first time since Adam and Eve were doing their post-Eden accounting, I thought maybe, just maybe, this Governor has the juice to make it happen.

But after meetings last week in Albany and countless emails and phone calls from the coalition leaders, I do not believe the Governor is going to a) waste political capital and b) take an other loss for this extremely important civil rights issue.

This is defeatist I know...but I still have some hope.

I met a man last Monday in Albany who has a child with his husband but spends every Monday and Tuesday in the Capital meeting with as many Senators and staff members as will let him in the door. He has been doing this since the budget passed. This kind of dedication to his civil rights is inspirational and utterly depressing at the same time; the fact that he does this is powerful, the fact he has to do this is shameful.

However, I choose to look at the better side of his work and our impending defeat. We will know who to target. We will continue to become better organized. Eventually New York will take a step forward and lead by example. Until then, we fight.

Fabulous Israelites and New Yorkers Should Be Able to Get Married

As I have mentioned before, I am a member of the steering committee of the Reform Jewish Voice of New York State. We do lots of progressive social justice type things up in Albany and around the state. We recently launched a major campaign for Marriage Equality. You will notice a nifty little banner ad to the right side of the blog. (look, it is there).

Last weekend, to help launch the campaign, I spoke at Temple Israel of New Rochelle at a rally for marriage equality. Below is my speech.

I thought I would take advantage of my new found web-traffic (Thanks to the always interesting New York City Council for the uptick) and ask you all to take part in this campaign. You don't have to be Jewish (but it helps if you live in New York State). So if you do live in New York, PLEASE visit www.MarriageforAllNY.org and send a note to your State Senator. Every voice counts in this fight for rights and I would be honored to have you take part in this battle.

Ma tovu ohalecha Yaacov, mishcanotecha Yisrael?

How goodly are your tents oh Jacob, your dwelling places Israel?

Tents. Dwelling places. This is not a blessing just for Jacob, this is about all of our tents and dwelling places; all homes, all congregations. Even in the days of the Israelites wandering in the desert, it was clear that the people of Israel were a diverse group, a group that is beautiful and powerful because of our differences. There were a lot of people following Moses through the desert...odds are at least a few Israelites were just a bit more fabulous than the others.

Every day, Jews around the world utter the words of Balaam to start their morning, by way of reminding themselves that in fact that Jews are a blessed people. Our blessing is multifold. We here today are blessed to live in a free country, a place that allows us to embrace our faith and traditions. We live a place with purple mountains and majesty. A place where the individual and the community are sacrosanct. We live in a country with a history of struggles and civil rights. And we live a state that is willing to listen to our complaints about inequality, if we are willing to speak up about them.

That is why I am here today. My name is the dcc and I am a straight married man who stands for marriage equality. I am also proud to be a Reform Jew who is actively engaged in the mitzvah of pursing justice for our community members who are systematically denied thousands of federal and state protections because of who they are.

I am a member of the Reform Jewish Voice (RJV) of New York State steering committee, co-sponsors of this event. RJV aims to engage congregations as advocates for progressive social and economic policies at the state level. Through conferences, advocacy programs and events like this, RJV interacts with more than 100 Reform congregations in New York State with nearly 100,000 members. RJV brings Reform Jewish values and the spirit of tikkun olam to state policy makers through this extensive network of individuals and congregations. And we want to help bring your voice to our state capital.

Just last week we launched a new campaign for marriage equality in our state. The progressive Jewish community of New York aims to become a key player in the ongoing fight for equality in our state, but we need your help. Please log on today to www.MarriageforAllNY.org and send a letter to your state senator. (don’t worry all you need is an email and a zip code, we take care of the rest.)

We cannot be silent. We may be blessed but we must take part in ensuring our blessing continues and that takes hard work. It takes action. And I thank you for your help as we continue to pursue justice so that we once again can share all our blessings with all the tents and dwelling places of our land.

Religiosity of Equality

This letter was sent to Senator Diaz’s office yesterday on behalf of the The Reform Jewish Voice (RJV) of New York State. I wrote it as a member of the Steering Committee and boy oh boy was I miffed about Senator Diaz's comment.

Dear Senator Diaz,

You were quoted in the New York Times saying that, “Not only the evangelicals, not only the Jews, not only the Muslims, not only the Catholics, but also the people oppose it.” “It” of course is marriage equality.

Now I cannot speak for all evangelicals, Muslims, Catholics, Jews or any other group you would like to unfairly type-cast as monolithic regressive ideologues. However, I can speak for a significant population of the Jewish community of this state. The Reform Jewish Movement, the largest synagogue movement in North America, has a long history of supporting civil marriage equality and I am offended by your statement.

I am a proud, practicing and religious Reform Jew. I was taught and believe that every human being was created b’tzelem Elohim, in the image of God. This means that all of us, as perfect or flawed as we may be, are entitled to respect and equality. Let this be in the embrace of our community or the eyes of the law.

But even as our tradition embraces same-sex couples as full members of our religious community, we are cognizant that other faith traditions hold differing views on this issue. That is why it is essential that civil marriage laws are not rooted in theology, but in the principle of equal rights. Today, you allowed your generalizations of many faith traditions to rationalize your actions.

Your vote against and vocal opposition of equal rights and protections for thousands of New Yorkers is shameful. But what is worse, is that you assumed the voice of millions of religious people who vehemently disagree with your position.

Senator Diaz, as one religious person to another, please do not speak for me on the religiosity of equality, on the Jewish tradition’s idea of marriage or on how I build a family according to my faith.


Respectfully,

thedcc

First Published on Jewcy: DC Catholics Screw Poor Because of Gay Marriage

First Published on Jewcy

"The Catholic Archdiocese of Washington said Wednesday that it will be unable to continue the social service programs it runs for the District if the city doesn't change a proposed same-sex marriage law, a threat that could affect tens of thousands of people the church helps with adoption, homelessness and health care." - The Washington Post

The Catholic Church does not want to be forced to give benefits to gay people, so they are offering an ultimatum: See the world our way, or else we will abandon our city contracts and the most vulnerable members of society.

I am not Catholic, poor, in need of adoption or health care. I don't live in D.C.; I am straight and married. But I am so disappointed in the Archdiocese, sorry for the millions of people who rely on their services and furious on behalf City Council officials who are now forced to choose whether to support equality or support those in need.

This is anti-religious and an affront to people of conscience everywhere.

As a Reform Jew committed to the concept that all people are created B'tzelem Elohim, in the image of God, I do not agree with the Church's position on marriage equality but I understand it. But this ultimatum, this repulsive rejection of its mission of serving those most in need is something I cannot understand or ever respect. I cannot believe the Archdioceses would actually ignore its chosen obligation to serve the poor in favor of hate. The Catholic Church's power should not be leveraged in this way; it is almost Roman in approach.

I just don't understand why you can't be completely against civil marriage equality and maintain city contracts to serve the poor. It is not like they don't serve LGBT members of the community already. Of the thousands of people who work for the Archdioceses there are bound to be a few gay or lesbian social workers, a bisexual or transgender cook in a soup kitchen. It isn't impossible to believe a gay homeless man sleeps in a Catholic shelter when the temperatures drop.

People of conscience must speak up against this horrific abuse of power. It is shameful that religious people who believe one way will allow their beliefs to deny vulnerable children, sick families and mentally ill individuals the services that are also integral aspects of their religious belief system.

I, for one, am totally revolted by this power play.

May we one day live in a world where everyone has that privilege

From a Friend on Facebook: on this national coming out day: thank you to everyone in my life who has made it possible for me to be honest about who i am and who i love. may we one day live in a world where everyone has that privilege.

Civil rights are some of those things that are often and easily rationalized away. As a straight married man, I have a unique prospective when it comes to LGBT rights in this country.

It would be very easy to do nothing and give nothing to bring about equality for the LGBT community. I could very easily say that I support the end of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (which is so hot right now) and not call the White House to complain. I could easily believe that everyone should have the right to get married and then not act upon the calls to action when bigoted legislation like Prop 8 are proposed. But I don’t. Most of the time.

Yeah sometimes I delete the Victory Fund emails and the Human Rights Campaign legislative alerts. I was a member of HRC’s PAC but ended my subscription (granted I was broke at the time). But for the same reason that my prospective is unique, I easily become complacent about the inequity of our country’s current legal view of gay folks.

Those pesky civil rights getting all easy to take for granted.

The LGBT rights movement in this country should have the same mojo as the civil right movement had in the 1960s. In that I wasn’t around during that time, I only know what I know from history books: all the white people in the North (each and every one of them) were so in favor of ending Jim Crow in the South that they were willing to send almost no one to the March on Washington to prove it or work in the South to stand for equality...

But seriously now, when we look back on this period of time will we be proud of our actions or will we create an apocryphal history to hide the fact that California, while voting in mass numbers for one of the most liberal presidents in a while, acted to codify discrimination in its state constitution? Will we be pleased with how we stood up to the teabagging-small-government-except-in-your-bedroom numbskulls or will we paint a picture of how these bigoted, ignorant, followers of Glen Beck were just one of many points of view that helped make our country stronger?

So on this National Coming Out Day I am coming out for civil rights…no more talking or painting pictures.

Shabbat Solidarity

The days between the High Holidays are a time of reflection, apology, prayer and introspection for the Jewish people. While Shabbat affords us this opportunity each week, I feel like the Shabbat between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, Shabbat Shuvah, is all the more special and powerful. So last Friday night I joined more than 100 young adults (both in age and in spirit) at Temple Shaarey Tefila for Shabbat Unplugged. This service is a celebration of Shabbat, bringing together people of different backgrounds, creeds and orientations to sing, celebrate and be together as a community to welcome the Sabbath bride.

I take the community aspect of this service very seriously and feel it is perhaps the most important aspect of my Shabbat. That is why I got up early on Saturday morning to travel to Congregation Beth Elohim in Park Slope to help this community—a community of people from different backgrounds, creeds and orientations—enjoy and sanctify the Shabbat.

Unfortunately the Westboro Baptist Church, the infamous hate group, was outside of Beth Elohim trying to deny this community of its Shabbat Shalom, its peaceful and meaningful Shabbat. Hatred needs to be combated with love and support, so I went to stand in solidarity with this community as it celebrated a young girl becoming a woman in the eyes of the Jewish people, to sit together with members and guests to learn some Torah portion and to take action in the face of injustice and hate.

It was a pretty sad showing from the Westboro contingent; no more than six or seven people with disgusting signs that will not get air time on this blog. But on the good guys’ side, there were more like 150 people from all walks of life. There were rabbis, priests and pastors. There were gay, straight and bisexuals community members (I know because the good guys had signs explaining these things). But the thing that was best about this was the positive message of the good guys’ counter demonstration.

Rabbi Andy Bachman, who is the spiritual leader of CBE, took a strong stand against a counter-protest but was open to the peaceful show of communal support that was emanating from the crowd last Shabbat. He lead this group from different backgrounds, creeds and orientations in a Shofar service, using the ancient horn of the Jewish people to shock us awake from the indifference that allows the Westboro brand of hate to flourish. He also called upon us to, in the tradition of the God of compassion to welcome the stranger, to accept all human beings as God’s creation and to never allow hate to triumph over tolerance.

He also called upon us to act in the tradition of the God of Groucho Marx and stick our thumbs on our noses and wave our hands at the protestors…you can’t be serious all the time (even in Park Slope).

But all this show of hate and counter-tolerance was not the most important aspect of this day. After the visitors from Kansas left, we all went inside to services. A young woman became Bat Mitzvah. A rabbi celebrated his 50th anniversary of his Bar Mitzvah. A member of the congregation gave a d’var Torah that dug deeper than most sermons and a guest from the Upper East Side took part in a beautiful Shabbat Morning experience.

People told me I was doing a great thing and I happen to agree. But the singing and dancing in the face of the hatemongering anti-Semitic homophobes was nothing important. The real power and meaning, a place where we found true Shabbat Shuvah, the Shabbat of return to the community and people of Israel, was that this group of people from different backgrounds, creeds and orientations, joined together in what we were going to do anyway. The evil of those Wichita base bigots changed nothing. Together this community stood strong in the face of injustice, stuck our tongues out at hatred and joined together in a joyous celebration of the Jewish people.

Nutty Homophobes Picket Nice Brooklyn Shul

I learned about this via Dan Sieradski and read more from the Congregation Beth Elohim blog. Those nut-bag-crazy-homophobic-racisit-anti-semite bastards from the so-called church, the "Westboro Baptist Church" -- the same people who run "GodHatesFags.com" and other such big tent and love thy neighbor type websites -- will be there protesting the Jews and the gays this Shabbat in Park Slope. I will be there to support CBE, will you?

Here is the congregations statement on the situation:

CBE Official Statement on Westboro Baptist

Congregation Beth Elohim
September 22, 2009
Dear Friends,

On Saturday, September 26, from 9:45 AM - 10:15 AM, Congregation Beth Elohim will be picketed by the Westboro Baptist Church, an extremist anti-Semitic, anti-gay independent church based out of Topeka, Kansas.

They plan to send representatives who will stand on our sidewalk displaying disturbing signs and provoking those entering our building. They try to create enough confrontation to incite others to provocation. It is their constitutional right to picket.

Congregation Beth Elohim does not welcome this group's message or actions in any way. Our focus and mission as a community is to build an inclusive Jewish community that celebrates the strength of diversity. It is a home for individuals and families of all backgrounds to grow and to learn and to care about and deepen their connections to one another.

We have clear priorities during difficult moments such as these. Protecting our members and visitors, and most importantly our children, is a primary goal. Our internal security team is already in action and local police authorities have been alerted. Although you are entitled to your right to free speech, we ask that you calmly pass these protesters and walk directly into our building without incident.

For more information about the Westboro Baptist and for educational materials about responding to hate groups, please download a PDF provided by the Anti-Defamation League.

Congregation Beth Elohim is an amazing community in that it is a warm and welcoming place. This group will be picketing us because of our commitment to those who desire community. Though Saturday may be upsetting, it is important to remember that our precious values are truly a source of great pride. Our best and only response is to conduct ourselves as usual.

And this Shabbat we have so much to celebrate: Natalie Chertoff becomes Bat Mitzvah; Shir l'Shabbat and Yachad meet in a wonderful, family learning and Shabbat atmosphere; Rabbi Emeritus Weider celebrates the fiftieth anniversary of his own Bar Mitzvah in the Lay-Led Minyan; and Alt-Shul is hosting its bi-monthly traditional minyan. Truly a diverse and celebratory Shabbat worthy of our values of openness and celebration as one community!

Let's focus our energy and attention on making this truly a Shabbat Shalom at Congregation Beth Elohim.

May you all be blessed for another year of life, tolerance, and well-being.

Sincerely,

Rabbi Andy Bachman
Elana Paru, Executive Director
David Kasakove, President

Top Chef without a soap box

You may remember last week when our intrepid social justice chef Ashley Merriman took to the camera all indignant like because she being gay couldn’t have a bachelorette party. Now that was not what she said but it sure felt that way.

Anywho, this week’s show had the chefs making a meal for 300 Airmen and their families. Anything from Chef Merriman on the injustice of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell? Nope. Not a word. Now here is a ridiculous, homophobic and downright disproven idea and our culinary crusader of the order of Lamdba put down her rainbow flag in order to rally around the stairs and stripes.

Please do not misunderstand this post. I love this country and am proud of the men and women who choose to fight to protect it and our interests (see what I did right there). But Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell doesn’t get the press it deserves. I mean a few weeks back the New York Times wrote a major piece on women serving in combat rolls. They shockingly have sex with their fellow soldiers and they are still able to kick ass and take names.

This fact flies in the face of the entire argument against having LGBT service personnel. The idea that they would be so distracting is a) disproven and b) just not enough to take away someone’s right to protect his or her way of life. If (and only if) our country is fighting to keep our liberty and freedoms unobstructed by extremist nut job terrorists who read just one book and then take aim to kill as many people who don’t do and think the same way as a narrow-minded reading of that book dictates, don’t you think that gay, lesbian, bisexual and trans individuals may want to pick up a gun fight back too?

ACH I say.

There was a great soap box moment for any of the gay chefs this past week and it was missed. Bravo being that LGBT safe-zone is also a controversy free safe-zone. While marriage equality is controversial it is very widely accepted in the liberal, affluent communities that make up the target audiences of Top Chef. But, talk about the troops, perhaps challenge the sitting Commander and Chief regarding promises he made on the campaign trail regarding LGBT rights, then you may face some problems. I would be interested to see the uncut interactions from Merriman and other gay chefs regarding this episode. However I would be shocked to see anything different than what came out in the final cuts.

Here, call your Senators, House member and the White House and say Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell is a policy that needs to change.

What do you eat at a gay wedding?

Bravo TV is without a question a LGBT safe zone. Complete with a wide variety of reality shows that host about 45% openly gay contestants, it is hard to call the network or its programming homophobic or even heteronormative. But last week this well established fact was called into question by Ashley Merriman on Top Chef.

If you missed the show, the group of 16 remaining boys and girls were broken down into teams of by gender to do a bachelor and bachelorette party for a couple complete with twists and turns that make it a worthwhile TV show. But the thing that took me back was Merriman’s distaste for the challenge because she can’t get married legally. The other three openly gay chefs on the show (if not more) didn’t touch on this issue and Ash Fulk was even able to make a self-effacing, somewhat homophobic joke without worrying about his rights being called into question by this challenge.

My position on marriage equality is well documented and taking to the street, soap box or blog to fight for equality is a great thing. But I am a little confused about this protest. I can only assume that Chef Merriman will open her Seattle restaurant to a wedding party and she would provide food to a client who was hosting an engagement celebration. So why now put up a fight in when she is on TV? Platform or not this seems like a silly way to protest a serious issue.

In other marriage equality food news, Ben & Jerry’s is celebrating Vermont’s celebration of marriage equality (the law goes into effect today) with a slight twist on a favorite flavor. For the rest of the month lovers of the vanilla-malt-fudge-covered-peanut-butter-filled-pretzel-nuggets classic will need to order Hubby-Hubby. While I love Ben & Jerry’s for no other reason than they make some really fantastic ice cream, this kind of simple, consumer-based activism makes me smile. Here hoping that they continue to sell B&J south of the Mason Dixon.

No word yet on a lesbian wedding ice cream.

Finally—while not really food related but kind of because the essay explores a “wife’s job” in the “traditional sense”—I suggest reading this past weekend’s “Modern Love” in the New York Times. We read of two women who were married, had kids and call each other wife. They wanted to raise political awareness by using the term wife but it gave way to a term of practicality and life together. One (the author and self described more culturally womanly) is the bread winner and the other (the author describes her as “butch” and has been known to enjoy power tools) stays at home with the couple’s children. The author notes that she gave birth to both kids. I found the story to be both well written and thought provoking. On side note, the author is working on a book about fatherhood…